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T O P I C R E V I E Wshop22muchtrine/ conj. everytime i ever show this aspect to someone with it in their chart, they deny it saying they arent like this, and that they are faithful when it comes to relationships....everytime...its either denial, lies, or its really the truth...is there a way the aspect can not be true? what would make venus trine uranus oboslete?what would make one overide the unfaithful part>? there has to be a rea what are your insights on this?wilsontcShop,I would say a more important question is how MANY relationships they have been in! As you know with Venus (relationships) trine (energy goes very easily with) Uranus (friends, also impulse) they may have had quite a few before deciding to "settle down"!Relating impulsively,TimAenAnd they seem to settle down with quite Aqualike types and more often than not have interesting life-arrangements. And when they decide to go away, they are truly and utterly gone in 60 seconds and there is nothing to bring them back.Anita41shop22much,I would think it can not always be true,I have venus square my uranus and its suppose to make me restless and unpredictable and distant and independant in relationships, but thats the complete opposite I am very faithful and love intimacy, i suppose its because of the venus in the 8th house, though its in leo, but I don't feel like a leo venus at all, more like a scorpio, so all the uranus to venus influence in my chart isnt true at all I feel.Neither do I want many relationships. I thought that people with venus conjunct uranus had delays in love since they often can be eccentric or loners, I dunno nove731I have Venus Sextile Uranus...Gemini NymphI have Gemini Venus trined Libra uranus, and nope, never ever cheated on anyone, ever.I also have Venus conj Saturn, which may affect things considerably however. My problem is that I am very ambivalent about relationships - I want intimacy and I want detachment. I want to be close to someone, but I'm not openly affectionate or very consistant in my desire to be close or intimate. I'm not a romatic, and am a very cerebral female which make it very hard for me to play the socially accepted role fo the "girlfriend." I've always known that my realtionship have be pretty unconventional and open in order to survive. I also have an issue with insincerity, I'm a very sicnere person in realtionships, but as soon as someone gives me a hint of insincerity, it's over. No second chance. And I usually have no problem getting out of a relationship. My standards are pretty high - neither Saturn or Uranus like to settle for second best. If I'm with someone who I know can't live up to those standards, I'm already out of the realtionship in my mind long before I tell the guy it;s over. (That doesn't ean I cheat, however - I'm just looking for the exit sign at that point.) But this also means I'm really bad at compromising in relationships as well, which I do need to work on. libra78I have venus conj uranus in Scorpio/2nd house. I think and hope that I am faithful in relationships (and hope I continue to be so..). I think the gone in 60 seconds thing as mentioned by Aen is defin true. I also think the delay in love comment by Anita41 may be applicable..depending..funkyaquarianpixiei have venus in pisces trine Uranus in scorp.i have been unfaithful in some of my previous relationships... in fact my current relationship is an odd set up...i live with my man in the uk. I am waiting to be seperated 2 years before my divorce and my estranged hubby is living in arizona.the gone in 60 seconds thing is sooooo true.PeriI don't think that Venus/Uranus trine/conj aspect means unfaithfulness. It's just that such people love spontaneity and unpredictability about relationships and when relationships become boring or too smothering they feel they have to move on. These people will be faithful (you should also ask them what they mean by being unfaithful to find out if you mean the same thing) and stay in realtionships as long as they find them interesting or even challenging.Venus conj Uranus may give love at first sight.Those with Venus/Uranus inconj aspect may feel that they have to choose between love and freedom, and it is a very difficult choice for them to make.Venus/Uranus opposition may give sudden and unexpected heartbreaks/break ups or too intense feelings to handle.In any case, Sun and Venus signs must be taken into consideration too. ------------------The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases. Carl G. JungWaterNymphI’ve got Venus in Aries trine Uranus in Sagittarius within about 3 degrees.I don’t know about unfaithful, but I’m a “grass is always greener on the other side” kind of person.If someone I consider better comes along, I’ll give up what I have for this new person.Also if things get boring, I’ll be desperate to leave.1scorpI have venus conjunct uranus. I like my freedom in relationships. I'm not a piece of property. I also can't stand someone to expect me to fall into a typical gender role. _________________________________________Scorpio sun, venus, mars, mercury and uranusLibra moon, pluto and asc. mars446I've never been in a relationship, but as far as my friendships goI like to go with what is hard to get, but if it's too hard, I'll drop it.Then also, I'm very emotionally detached from everyone I know, so it's easy for me to go off alone unexpectedly.Once a friend leaves and goes to another school, country, etc... I don't bother trying to get in touch with them.And I do agree with gemini nymph with everything she says. But then again, I'm a sun, mercury, mars in virgo, though my venus is leo and uranus in sag.carlfloydfanwell in my chart it says"35 Conjunction Venus - Uranusindependent in love. His love life is rich, but with passing love affairs. He tires quickly and is scared of losing his liberty. If he marries, he will regret it. He has that little something that attracts the opposite sex: he likes amorous adventures, he is romantic. He is the eternal lover and, of course, is unfaithful if he has a serious relationship. He likes art, anything new."^BIGGEST LOAD OF BULL **** EVER. haha, sometimes astrology lets me down as I delve deeper into it. in fact a lot of the more in depth stuff is flat out wrong.cristinamein one's chart, the ruler of their 5th, 7th and 8th show how one IS in relationships, not their Venus.Venus per se is a more general way of defining values and attitudes. example: my Venus sextiles Uranus,which also rules my Asc and conjunct my Moon, AND sextiles my 7th ruler the Sun andI've had this 9 years rel. how's that for long-term, faithfulness? well...9 is a number for Uranus (its cycle), and I am a bit restless, I get bored on a regular basis and I NEED (moon) to change things, try something NEW, but that never meant a new lover.maybe cos Venus is in Capricorn, my 7th house ruler Sun is in capricorn, and saturn is in my 7th, conj my Desc. Long term commitments all the way love for fun and romance is about the 5th. uranus, mars there brings many affairs, etc. with my cancer 5th, moon in the 9th (even thou it conj uranus!) so my romantic needs are home-based and of a platonic nature (9th house).so, u see, u can't take one aspects out of the context of a chart sthenriYes that is true, the one time I have met a Venus trine Uranus who was chronically unfaithful, he had other hard aspects too, Moon opp Mars and Neptune, and Uranus trine Moon, and Sun singleton in Gemini. Virgo on the 7th conjunct Pluto. All these added up to me first, everyone must make me happyVirgo perfection+7th house=expects perfectionAs for Venus trine Uranus and Venus in Aquarius, there are some patterns, one is marrying late, and making the other party wait, and be patient through a number of obstacles, requiring faith and resolve, likes money management, prefers to have the upper hand in the home, expects children to be loved but disciplined.Since this it the opposite of Leo, there is a tendency to deny fun and games and so project these onto a partner-there is an expectation of colour and life in the partner, but it has to be controlled in the form of outward expression. The ideal mate would be someone who gives parties, belongs to an organization, knows many people, and promotes his or her partner first.For that reason Venus in Aquarius or Venus trine Uranus will be attracted to glamorous people-before settling down with someone who offers the best of both worlds, patience and resolve, and fascinating friends.I meet a lot of people with Venus in Aquarius now that I think of it and they do prefer groups to one on one, and judge their partners by how hard they work and give to their career. I do not feel they have any special sexual quality, but maybe they need to feel so as they are hardworking people who try to do their best, saturn's influence. Venus in Leo for me, does fit the role, of wanting a partner with a home and family first.But again it's true the entire chart has to be looked at, a hard aspect to Neptune says more about unfaithful and flaky behaviour.NatashaTaurusPlanet_SoulI have Uranus conj. Venus 11, Uranus trine Moon, and stressful Moon-Mars aspects. I was unfaithful once, but not because of boredom. It was a strong desire to break free of a destructive/imprisonment failure of a marriage. This person just would not leave, no matter how many times I told him I didn't love him anymore. So I made the choice to do something that would make it no going back. It wasn't right but it was my way of escape, and it did work. It is true once my mind is made up I will not look back. Once the feelings are gone they are gone, but it does take a lot for it to get to that point. I am unconventional you might say. When I was younger, I tried my best to live by the social/cultural rules of my family. This backfired horrendously as it resulted in my being very unhappy. Trial and error, and I am now at a good place. My partner is a few years younger and of a different ethincity and upbringing than I. Interestingly, our composite shows Uranus conj. Ascendent and he is a Libra rising. sthenriPlanet Soul, when you say no going back, did you mean for yourself or the other person? I know that if there is a new person involved that person can be the one to take care of the problem-example confront the old lover, but isn't that destructive as well to the new lover? Did your new lover know that you were unavailable?Not to make light of a bad relationship, I was in a marriage with an Aries who did not love me, even though I loved him and so fooled around to make him let me go. He was keeping me physically from leaving. I have never been in a relationship where I stopped loving someone, and the other person would not leave.If you have the ability to leave, and don't love the person, couldn't you just walk out the door and change your phone number? Not to make light of the situation but sexual dishonesty can be so cruel and destructive to a lover's body, especially if one is being used to break up with someone else.I say so because I was the one used once. The guy was with a destructive woman (Cancer), but at the same time, now I feel he could have walked away without engaging in another romantic relationship. We live in the same town and I don't speak to him. As for walking away he told me that he did not love me either, but wanted to remain friends as long as I did. Since it seemed to me he was cheating, there was no reason to trust. The strangest thing is that he became furious with me when I told him he was a cheater.I meant that he lied to me in the first place about his availability. I also felt he had used me to be free to date a blonde girl I know. He denied it over and over again, but ended up with her.I am curious what kinds of qualities you value in your friends and lover? And are you closer to your friends?For some reason now looking back, the entire affair reeked of guilt like a gay soap opera.Thanks,NatashaPlanet_SoulHey Natasha, The last year of my marriage was the beginning of the end. The fighting and distance got so deep, that we no longer shared the same room andl lived seperate lives. He began to abuse first drugs than alcohol and then me. Up until that point, I was hopeful that we would work it out. Once he put a hand on me, the feelings died. I wanted him to leave the house, because his brother had offered him a place to stay. The Aqua came into my life as a friend, the brother of one of my female friends. We had gone to school together, but hadn't seen each other in three years. Things were innocent at first, we talked on the phone as friends which my husband was aware of. affair, we would talk on the phone as friends. This went on for about two months, and then we both realized we had deeper feelings and agreed to meet (this is why I say I cheated). The same morning we reunited/met, I returned home and told my husband everything. I told him I had fallen in love with my friend, and we had met. He was angry not because I cared for someone else, but because he wished I hadn't told him. He left the house, and I was a mixture of relieved and sad. Relieved because I would no longer go home to a place that no longer felt like a home, sad because despite everything this was a man I once believed I would always love. sthenriPlanet_Soul, I am sorry to hear someone you were intimate with, hurt you, it's a terrible thing to go through alone. Did you have any friends or family you could go to? And were you afraid to leave? It's not necessary to let me probe you, as it's your business. I have Uranus trine Sun so maybe that's why I attract those who want to lean on my seemingly friendly nature-but inwardly my feelings run deeper than I can show.Recently I met an Aquarius/Cancer Moon/Libra Ascendant who went through this with a Scorpio/Libra Moon/Libra Ascendant woman. He ended up waiting for her as my platonic friend for over a year, losing his job and his home, over his depression. Depression is in part, caused by an overly compliant nature, he was very submissive to his Scorpio married lover, and she showed no signs of leaving due to finances. I helped him through his depression but eventually he has to stop feeding her feelings, by listening, having an emotional affair is just as bad as a physical one. In fact I found out that EA's as they are called are the number one cause of marriage failures. We helped each other through our separate masochistic relationships, much to the horror and disgust of my gemini lover. What happened to the other man if I may ask? I feel a little like your old Aquarius, what happened to him if you don't mind me asking? Do you find Aquarius men have a need to fix people, and cannot trust that easily? The ones I have known are cynical and fixing others makes them feel better about people.My Aqua friend would say everyone lies, and wait for me to contradict him. Having this Aqua nature myself I at this time have my savings and credit cards locked up with a trusted party, so that I can't access anything for a doe eyed lover.One day I hope that I can learn to trust myself in love, but until then I to remain cynical and ask questions like these.I am glad you are away from that man because no one can live with verbal, physical, or emotional abuse. If your mate is your weakest link, how can you be strong?As for me, I have made it my number one priority to avoid commitment and love with any man who starts to minimize me, talk down to me, use profanity, make fun of my vulnerabilities, or starts to say he's scared of needing me. That's a step away from saying I am going to hurt you, and you had better get used to it.Regarding Venus in Aquarius and Venus trine Uranus, I do believe there is a strong tendency to fall in love with those who are not very practical. And unfortunately for me I am well aware of this trait in myself with Venus in Aries/5th house.Take Care,NatashaTaurus/6thPlanet_SoulHello again Natasha, No you aren't probing at all, it feels good for me to go back and reflect on things past. I agree, EA are likely more damaging than physical ones. It is an entrapment and struggle to be in that situation. All I can say is that if someone is going through this, it is a red flag that something is majorly amiss in the marriage. The EA affair was brief. My ex moved out, and the Aqua and I stayed together. However, it was confusing and stormy. Despite all the pain, my mind was jumbled and my emotional turbulance distorted my judgement. I had a lot of guilt over wanting to divorce. I was socialized in the ideal that a marriage should endure everything/anything. I was only 17 when I got married and had never experienced freedom. Once I had it, I went rebellious in the thirst for it. I ended up on a rollercoaster ride with the Aqua. He was openminded but fixed on commitment. For nearly a year we'd break up and get back together. He had imagined I'd want to get out of the marriage and then settle down w him. I truly did love him, but I knew I was not going to settle down w anybody for a LONG time. The irony of bad timing. Had I found him later in my journey, it might of been different. Maybe he did want to fix me, rescue me? It wasn't so simple. I had much to work out inside, and much to learn about myself. I ended up hurting him and myself. He returned to an old girlfriend two weeks after our final break up. They got married a month later. My ex-husband lost himself in some shady ventures after our divorce. He left the country a criminal after implication in a bad drug deal/shooting. sthenriYes, I know what you mean regarding EA's, the trouble is who is the designated responsible party watching the flags? If one person does that and calls the other one on a problem, then he or she is branded as the controlling one-I still can't understand why in my situation, I gave plenty of freedom but couldn't get him to simply face me and admit he wanted to be with some other girl. He could have simply said I want to be alone to be with someone else or not with you. Instead he had to wait until he found someone else because he said he didn't want me to worry about him. It's much more hurtful to find someone else than to leave for someone else. After all I'm a lover not a parent.Fine point I know, but lovers deserve someone who can face them and simply say, do you want to be with me instead of someone else or not? It's not an insecurity or a desire for commitment or even a desire to hear the sales pitch again, it's about wanting the other person to say it for once.I can see why your Aqua would get married soon after. After every roller coaster ride I have been on, I wanted to settle down quickly, since being a we is more fun than I. I don't idealize marriage but t's healthy to have someone to lean on.I have noticed unhealthy relationships depend a lot on the we, that idealized couple that always agrees on everything. Good luck to you and your current partner, I am trying myself not to settle too quickly for someone who agrees with everything I say, but feels differently underneath. I have to keep looking for those red flags until I hold up everyone.NatashaPlanet_SoulNatasha,I just noticed your screen name, as two seperate words in one. For some reason, I thought it was "shentri" not "sthenri". Cool. Did you choose it to mean "St. Henry"? Just curious.You are right on about the red flags. How does one know something is amiss with lack of communication? In my case, I did tell my ex how I was feeling distant, etc. I even suggested marital counseling, but for soem reason he had negative connations in relation to theraphy. He didn't appear to take my feelings seriously, saw them more as a passing mood you might say. Regardless, it was a harsh lesson learned. Now, I see communication and honesty as the foundation for healthy emotional expression. It is true that things would be simpler if we were all just more sincere with each other. In your case, I would also be upset. It is better to just be direct and not leave a person dangling while we figure out what we want. Its unfair for everyone involved. Are you still involved with the Aquarius man who had two little girls? Here's a bit of Uranus conj. Venus from Robert Pelletier's "planets in Aspect"With Venus c. Uranus you have a sparkling, effervescent personality. Popular and sociable almost to an extreme, you have a dynamic zest for living a full, unrestricted life. You seek every kind of human encounter in order to fully explore life in all its dimensions. You tend to disregard socially acceptable relationships unless they are exciting enough for you to feel uninhibited. You are best suited to occupations that involve novelty and in which you can function in your own uniquely creative way. You don't take easily to routine, and a daily schedule of repetitious work would be unbearably boring. Professions dealing w the public are more in line with your temperment. Public relations, party planning, social organizations, fashion shows, counseling, and decorating are all fields that can give you mobility and the creative expression you seek. In your personal relationships you demand unlimited freedom so you can detach yourself w/o guilt when you lose itnerest. If a person continues to fascinate you, you will form strong ties. But you may sever those ties suddenly if you emet someone whose unusual qualitites gain your attention. It may be difficult for you to establish a permament relationship, since you are outgoing and probably career-oriented. Its better to defer marriage until you've had the opportunity to try making it on your own. BEcause your romantic respnoses are unpredicatable, you would be well advised to be engaged for a reasonable period of tiem before marrying. If you marry on impulse, it will likely not be permanent. Only a strong Saturn or earth qualities determined elsehere in the chart may reverse this trend. funkyaquarianpixiei have venus in pisces trine Uranus in scorp.i have been unfaithful in some of my previous relationships... in fact my current relationship is an odd set up...i live with my man in the uk. I am waiting to be seperated 2 years before my divorce and my estranged hubby is living in arizona.the gone in 60 seconds thing is sooooo true.Ok in edit to this i left the yank cos he was illegal in the uk, bipolar and an alcoholic ( completely impratical) and cos i felt trapped.. he was possesive and a whining drunk who dissed all my friends. the cheating bit came cos i kissed my then best friend and now my man samhain 2004... but after that i left my estranged hubby... my "infidelities" were more overlapping beginnings and endings to relationships... i was loyal until i felt trapped or smothered.. and once in my youth when someone went through my diary... (that i fear was sheer aqua stubbourness.. give me enuff rope..)Pix
everytime i ever show this aspect to someone with it in their chart, they deny it saying they arent like this, and that they are faithful when it comes to relationships....everytime...its either denial, lies, or its really the truth...is there a way the aspect can not be true? what would make venus trine uranus oboslete?
what would make one overide the unfaithful part>? there has to be a rea what are your insights on this?
I would say a more important question is how MANY relationships they have been in! As you know with Venus (relationships) trine (energy goes very easily with) Uranus (friends, also impulse) they may have had quite a few before deciding to "settle down"!
Relating impulsively,
Tim
And when they decide to go away, they are truly and utterly gone in 60 seconds and there is nothing to bring them back.
I also have Venus conj Saturn, which may affect things considerably however.
My problem is that I am very ambivalent about relationships - I want intimacy and I want detachment. I want to be close to someone, but I'm not openly affectionate or very consistant in my desire to be close or intimate. I'm not a romatic, and am a very cerebral female which make it very hard for me to play the socially accepted role fo the "girlfriend." I've always known that my realtionship have be pretty unconventional and open in order to survive.
I also have an issue with insincerity, I'm a very sicnere person in realtionships, but as soon as someone gives me a hint of insincerity, it's over. No second chance. And I usually have no problem getting out of a relationship.
My standards are pretty high - neither Saturn or Uranus like to settle for second best. If I'm with someone who I know can't live up to those standards, I'm already out of the realtionship in my mind long before I tell the guy it;s over. (That doesn't ean I cheat, however - I'm just looking for the exit sign at that point.) But this also means I'm really bad at compromising in relationships as well, which I do need to work on.
i have been unfaithful in some of my previous relationships... in fact my current relationship is an odd set up...
i live with my man in the uk. I am waiting to be seperated 2 years before my divorce and my estranged hubby is living in arizona.
the gone in 60 seconds thing is sooooo true.
It's just that such people love spontaneity and unpredictability about relationships and when relationships become boring or too smothering they feel they have to move on.
These people will be faithful (you should also ask them what they mean by being unfaithful to find out if you mean the same thing) and stay in realtionships as long as they find them interesting or even challenging.
Venus conj Uranus may give love at first sight.
Those with Venus/Uranus inconj aspect may feel that they have to choose between love and freedom, and it is a very difficult choice for them to make.
Venus/Uranus opposition may give sudden and unexpected heartbreaks/break ups or too intense feelings to handle.
In any case, Sun and Venus signs must be taken into consideration too.
------------------The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases. Carl G. Jung
I don’t know about unfaithful, but I’m a “grass is always greener on the other side” kind of person.If someone I consider better comes along, I’ll give up what I have for this new person.
Also if things get boring, I’ll be desperate to leave.
I like my freedom in relationships. I'm not a piece of property.
I also can't stand someone to expect me to fall into a typical gender role. _________________________________________Scorpio sun, venus, mars, mercury and uranusLibra moon, pluto and asc.
I like to go with what is hard to get, but if it's too hard, I'll drop it.
Then also, I'm very emotionally detached from everyone I know, so it's easy for me to go off alone unexpectedly.
Once a friend leaves and goes to another school, country, etc... I don't bother trying to get in touch with them.
And I do agree with gemini nymph with everything she says. But then again, I'm a sun, mercury, mars in virgo, though my venus is leo and uranus in sag.
"35 Conjunction Venus - Uranus
independent in love. His love life is rich, but with passing love affairs. He tires quickly and is scared of losing his liberty. If he marries, he will regret it. He has that little something that attracts the opposite sex: he likes amorous adventures, he is romantic. He is the eternal lover and, of course, is unfaithful if he has a serious relationship. He likes art, anything new."
^BIGGEST LOAD OF BULL **** EVER. haha, sometimes astrology lets me down as I delve deeper into it. in fact a lot of the more in depth stuff is flat out wrong.
Venus per se is a more general way of defining values and attitudes.
example: my Venus sextiles Uranus,which also rules my Asc and conjunct my Moon, AND sextiles my 7th ruler the Sun andI've had this 9 years rel. how's that for long-term, faithfulness?
well...9 is a number for Uranus (its cycle), and I am a bit restless, I get bored on a regular basis and I NEED (moon) to change things, try something NEW, but that never meant a new lover.
maybe cos Venus is in Capricorn, my 7th house ruler Sun is in capricorn, and saturn is in my 7th, conj my Desc. Long term commitments all the way
love for fun and romance is about the 5th. uranus, mars there brings many affairs, etc. with my cancer 5th, moon in the 9th (even thou it conj uranus!) so my romantic needs are home-based and of a platonic nature (9th house).
so, u see, u can't take one aspects out of the context of a chart
Virgo perfection+7th house=expects perfection
As for Venus trine Uranus and Venus in Aquarius, there are some patterns, one is marrying late, and making the other party wait, and be patient through a number of obstacles, requiring faith and resolve, likes money management, prefers to have the upper hand in the home, expects children to be loved but disciplined.
Since this it the opposite of Leo, there is a tendency to deny fun and games and so project these onto a partner-there is an expectation of colour and life in the partner, but it has to be controlled in the form of outward expression. The ideal mate would be someone who gives parties, belongs to an organization, knows many people, and promotes his or her partner first.
For that reason Venus in Aquarius or Venus trine Uranus will be attracted to glamorous people-before settling down with someone who offers the best of both worlds, patience and resolve, and fascinating friends.
I meet a lot of people with Venus in Aquarius now that I think of it and they do prefer groups to one on one, and judge their partners by how hard they work and give to their career. I do not feel they have any special sexual quality, but maybe they need to feel so as they are hardworking people who try to do their best, saturn's influence.
Venus in Leo for me, does fit the role, of wanting a partner with a home and family first.
But again it's true the entire chart has to be looked at, a hard aspect to Neptune says more about unfaithful and flaky behaviour.
NatashaTaurus
Not to make light of a bad relationship, I was in a marriage with an Aries who did not love me, even though I loved him and so fooled around to make him let me go. He was keeping me physically from leaving. I have never been in a relationship where I stopped loving someone, and the other person would not leave.
If you have the ability to leave, and don't love the person, couldn't you just walk out the door and change your phone number? Not to make light of the situation but sexual dishonesty can be so cruel and destructive to a lover's body, especially if one is being used to break up with someone else.
I say so because I was the one used once. The guy was with a destructive woman (Cancer), but at the same time, now I feel he could have walked away without engaging in another romantic relationship. We live in the same town and I don't speak to him.
As for walking away he told me that he did not love me either, but wanted to remain friends as long as I did. Since it seemed to me he was cheating, there was no reason to trust. The strangest thing is that he became furious with me when I told him he was a cheater.
I meant that he lied to me in the first place about his availability. I also felt he had used me to be free to date a blonde girl I know. He denied it over and over again, but ended up with her.
I am curious what kinds of qualities you value in your friends and lover? And are you closer to your friends?
For some reason now looking back, the entire affair reeked of guilt like a gay soap opera.
Thanks,Natasha
The last year of my marriage was the beginning of the end. The fighting and distance got so deep, that we no longer shared the same room andl lived seperate lives. He began to abuse first drugs than alcohol and then me. Up until that point, I was hopeful that we would work it out. Once he put a hand on me, the feelings died. I wanted him to leave the house, because his brother had offered him a place to stay. The Aqua came into my life as a friend, the brother of one of my female friends. We had gone to school together, but hadn't seen each other in three years. Things were innocent at first, we talked on the phone as friends which my husband was aware of. affair, we would talk on the phone as friends. This went on for about two months, and then we both realized we had deeper feelings and agreed to meet (this is why I say I cheated). The same morning we reunited/met, I returned home and told my husband everything. I told him I had fallen in love with my friend, and we had met. He was angry not because I cared for someone else, but because he wished I hadn't told him. He left the house, and I was a mixture of relieved and sad. Relieved because I would no longer go home to a place that no longer felt like a home, sad because despite everything this was a man I once believed I would always love.
Recently I met an Aquarius/Cancer Moon/Libra Ascendant who went through this with a Scorpio/Libra Moon/Libra Ascendant woman. He ended up waiting for her as my platonic friend for over a year, losing his job and his home, over his depression. Depression is in part, caused by an overly compliant nature, he was very submissive to his Scorpio married lover, and she showed no signs of leaving due to finances.
I helped him through his depression but eventually he has to stop feeding her feelings, by listening, having an emotional affair is just as bad as a physical one. In fact I found out that EA's as they are called are the number one cause of marriage failures. We helped each other through our separate masochistic relationships, much to the horror and disgust of my gemini lover. What happened to the other man if I may ask?
I feel a little like your old Aquarius, what happened to him if you don't mind me asking? Do you find Aquarius men have a need to fix people, and cannot trust that easily? The ones I have known are cynical and fixing others makes them feel better about people.
My Aqua friend would say everyone lies, and wait for me to contradict him. Having this Aqua nature myself I at this time have my savings and credit cards locked up with a trusted party, so that I can't access anything for a doe eyed lover.
One day I hope that I can learn to trust myself in love, but until then I to remain cynical and ask questions like these.
I am glad you are away from that man because no one can live with verbal, physical, or emotional abuse. If your mate is your weakest link, how can you be strong?
As for me, I have made it my number one priority to avoid commitment and love with any man who starts to minimize me, talk down to me, use profanity, make fun of my vulnerabilities, or starts to say he's scared of needing me. That's a step away from saying I am going to hurt you, and you had better get used to it.
Regarding Venus in Aquarius and Venus trine Uranus, I do believe there is a strong tendency to fall in love with those who are not very practical. And unfortunately for me I am well aware of this trait in myself with Venus in Aries/5th house.
Take Care,NatashaTaurus/6th
No you aren't probing at all, it feels good for me to go back and reflect on things past. I agree, EA are likely more damaging than physical ones. It is an entrapment and struggle to be in that situation. All I can say is that if someone is going through this, it is a red flag that something is majorly amiss in the marriage. The EA affair was brief. My ex moved out, and the Aqua and I stayed together. However, it was confusing and stormy. Despite all the pain, my mind was jumbled and my emotional turbulance distorted my judgement. I had a lot of guilt over wanting to divorce. I was socialized in the ideal that a marriage should endure everything/anything. I was only 17 when I got married and had never experienced freedom. Once I had it, I went rebellious in the thirst for it. I ended up on a rollercoaster ride with the Aqua. He was openminded but fixed on commitment. For nearly a year we'd break up and get back together. He had imagined I'd want to get out of the marriage and then settle down w him. I truly did love him, but I knew I was not going to settle down w anybody for a LONG time. The irony of bad timing. Had I found him later in my journey, it might of been different. Maybe he did want to fix me, rescue me? It wasn't so simple. I had much to work out inside, and much to learn about myself. I ended up hurting him and myself. He returned to an old girlfriend two weeks after our final break up. They got married a month later. My ex-husband lost himself in some shady ventures after our divorce. He left the country a criminal after implication in a bad drug deal/shooting.
I still can't understand why in my situation, I gave plenty of freedom but couldn't get him to simply face me and admit he wanted to be with some other girl. He could have simply said I want to be alone to be with someone else or not with you. Instead he had to wait until he found someone else because he said he didn't want me to worry about him. It's much more hurtful to find someone else than to leave for someone else.
After all I'm a lover not a parent.
Fine point I know, but lovers deserve someone who can face them and simply say, do you want to be with me instead of someone else or not? It's not an insecurity or a desire for commitment or even a desire to hear the sales pitch again, it's about wanting the other person to say it for once.
I can see why your Aqua would get married soon after. After every roller coaster ride I have been on, I wanted to settle down quickly, since being a we is more fun than I. I don't idealize marriage but t's healthy to have someone to lean on.
I have noticed unhealthy relationships depend a lot on the we, that idealized couple that always agrees on everything.
Good luck to you and your current partner, I am trying myself not to settle too quickly for someone who agrees with everything I say, but feels differently underneath. I have to keep looking for those red flags until I hold up everyone.
Natasha
I just noticed your screen name, as two seperate words in one. For some reason, I thought it was "shentri" not "sthenri". Cool. Did you choose it to mean "St. Henry"? Just curious.
You are right on about the red flags. How does one know something is amiss with lack of communication? In my case, I did tell my ex how I was feeling distant, etc. I even suggested marital counseling, but for soem reason he had negative connations in relation to theraphy. He didn't appear to take my feelings seriously, saw them more as a passing mood you might say. Regardless, it was a harsh lesson learned. Now, I see communication and honesty as the foundation for healthy emotional expression.
It is true that things would be simpler if we were all just more sincere with each other. In your case, I would also be upset. It is better to just be direct and not leave a person dangling while we figure out what we want. Its unfair for everyone involved. Are you still involved with the Aquarius man who had two little girls?
Here's a bit of Uranus conj. Venus from Robert Pelletier's "planets in Aspect"
With Venus c. Uranus you have a sparkling, effervescent personality. Popular and sociable almost to an extreme, you have a dynamic zest for living a full, unrestricted life. You seek every kind of human encounter in order to fully explore life in all its dimensions. You tend to disregard socially acceptable relationships unless they are exciting enough for you to feel uninhibited. You are best suited to occupations that involve novelty and in which you can function in your own uniquely creative way. You don't take easily to routine, and a daily schedule of repetitious work would be unbearably boring. Professions dealing w the public are more in line with your temperment. Public relations, party planning, social organizations, fashion shows, counseling, and decorating are all fields that can give you mobility and the creative expression you seek. In your personal relationships you demand unlimited freedom so you can detach yourself w/o guilt when you lose itnerest. If a person continues to fascinate you, you will form strong ties. But you may sever those ties suddenly if you emet someone whose unusual qualitites gain your attention. It may be difficult for you to establish a permament relationship, since you are outgoing and probably career-oriented. Its better to defer marriage until you've had the opportunity to try making it on your own. BEcause your romantic respnoses are unpredicatable, you would be well advised to be engaged for a reasonable period of tiem before marrying. If you marry on impulse, it will likely not be permanent. Only a strong Saturn or earth qualities determined elsehere in the chart may reverse this trend.
Ok in edit to this i left the yank cos he was illegal in the uk, bipolar and an alcoholic ( completely impratical) and cos i felt trapped.. he was possesive and a whining drunk who dissed all my friends.
the cheating bit came cos i kissed my then best friend and now my man samhain 2004... but after that i left my estranged hubby...
my "infidelities" were more overlapping beginnings and endings to relationships... i was loyal until i felt trapped or smothered.. and once in my youth when someone went through my diary... (that i fear was sheer aqua stubbourness.. give me enuff rope..)
Pix
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